Blame it on the current planetary movements or perhaps my bad decision-making skills over the last decade of my life but I feel like I have completely screwed up my career and, inherently, aspects of my life, since careers tend to be closely connected to people we meet throughout life. Ok, maybe not entirely my whole career but it's safe to say it has taken a huge detour. As I was scrolling through LinkedIn in an attempt to revisit my connections (an exercise I do quite often), I couldn’t help but notice how so many people I know have moved up the ladder in their careers. Many of whom have less education and, in some cases, less experience than me. To this I ask myself incessantly: where have I gone wrong? I can’t really blame society nor my current employer endlessly for my failure.
Just like the background I chose for this page, I sometimes want to just throw everything in the air and see where it lands...although that would be incongruous with the type of decision-making I should be engaging in at my age. lol
Photo by Adrien Converse on Unsplash
Although I am still relatively “young” and have time to remedy my mistakes I am left to wonder if I am in the right place, right city, right country.
I have also recently really started to ponder the idea of going back to school to pursue higher education and change my field completely (or rather return to my original field of interest) but then I get hit in the face by the issue surrounding money and other adult-level responsibilities. I am stuck in a dilemma about my future.
I am certainly not happy where I am at but have not yet succumbed entirely to the idea of defeat.
About two years ago, as I was writing my poetry books, I couldn’t help but be inspired by artists and the art they produced (from paintings to poetry to other forms of expression) and it has played a huge role in how I have shaped the content inside my books.
As I exposed myself to more and more forms of art and aesthetics throughout my creative process (ongoing to this day), I noticed changes in my thoughts, feelings and mood. At first I couldn’t really understand what was happening so I let it be but then it kept coming back.
Finally, I researched some terms on the internet about one year ago and came across the emerging field of neuroaesthetics or neuroarts. I am still reading and getting acquainted with it but I find the integration of psychology, neuroscience, arts, biology,etc, absolutely fascinating. Having experienced benefits myself before I even knew of this field of research, I can attest to its validity. Although actual causality of many of its posited hypotheses is still in the works, I am excited to read more about new research and new discoveries surrounding art, poetry, aesthetics and their respective implications on the central nervous system and psychological well being. Having been a psychology student myself, I am always drawn back to this field. Is this a sign maybe? I do miss studying it.
I may not have specific answers right now about my future but I do know that I must act and change something before it gets too late for me to do so.
Maybe the answer lies in stepping outside the comfort zone and not being afraid to actually explore what is outside the gates I have called “home” for the last 19 years.
I call this step 1 in my neuroaesthetic journey towards understanding my own positive mental health changes that were brought upon by different forms of art, albeit in an unrecognizable manner at first, while I was trying to piece together parts of myself.
#neuroaesthetics
#psychology
#art
#happiness
#neuroart